Category: Opinions and Thoughts

Posted in Opinions and Thoughts

Learning How to Let Go

Posted on by M Garcia

Do you have a highlight reel that plays in your head from time to time? Or one that you can call up when you’re feeling a little blue? Does your highlight reel just start playing sometimes when you least expect it? Or when you are just zoning out?

I have a highlight reel but my highlight reel doesn’t get as much playing time as my “lowlight” reel. My “lowlight” reel consists of clips of all the times I’ve embarrassed myself, all the times when I didn’t act as professionally as I should have, all the times that I’ve lost my cool when there really was no need to – all of my human moments.

Often, my lowlight reel starts playing without any warning. Out of the blue, a memory will pop into my head of an incident from 10 or 15 years ago. I’ll be driving along on my way to work and the memory of  an awkward incident will come up. Or I’ll be walking around in a store and the memory of a time when I was tongue-tied will flash across my mind.

I don’t know what causes this spontaneous playing of my lowlight reel. But a couple of years ago, I started using a mantra whenever those memories enter my mind unbidden. Let it go. I usually say it out loud but if I’m in public, I’ll say it in my head. Let it go.

It’s taken a lot of practice but usually when I say it, the memory blinks out. It doesn’t stop the memory from coming back but it is nice that I can banish it with three little words – Let it go.

I’ve started using my mantra for more than just banishing unwanted memories. Whenever I’m feeling uncharitable about someone or something – let it go. Whenever I’m feeling angry about a situation that I have no control over – let it go. Whenever something didn’t turn out as it should have, as I planned it to – let it go.

The thought processor churns on!

Posted in Opinions and Thoughts

When You’re With Friends

Posted on by M Garcia

I just spent a week in Dallas, Texas on business. Whenever I leave the office, people think I’m off having fun. They don’t realize that when you’re at a conference or a retreat, which this essentially was, it’s not like being in the office. When you’re in the office, you go in at 8 (or 7:15 in my case) and you leave at 5 (or much later in my case). You get to leave the office at the end of the day and leave your office persona behind.

When you’re at an off-site, there is no end of the day. Often you’re having breakfast with colleagues before you head into sessions. Then, lunch is a group event and whether it is a formal working session or not, work is often discussed. Then you head back into sessions. If you’re lucky, you’ll have an hour or two before the group dinner where, once again, work will be discussed whether in passing or intensely as a follow-up to the day’s meetings. After the group dinner, people will either congregate at the bar or in a hospitality suite. While this is optional, a lot of good discussions and ideas pop up during the informal networking that takes place with a round of drinks in hand.

At a conference or an off-site, you wear your office persona the majority of the time. And that’s exhausting.

But, if you’re with a group that you enjoy being with, it’s exhilarating and energizing. Even though the days are long, the time flies by because you’re with people who like you despite your personality quirks, who respect your opinions even if they’re not expressed as diplomatically as they could be, who want to hear your point of view even thought they know it’s different from theirs. When you’re with colleagues who are friends, work doesn’t seem like work and the impossible seems possible.

I wish things were like this at my office. But life is a series of choices, right? Even if I can’t be energized by the people in my office, I can choose to be energized by my projects. I can choose to be motivated by knowing my work has an impact. I can choose to look for bright spots in my day wherever I can find them. And in the meantime, I look anticipate my off-site meetings and conferences and I cherish the time I have with those colleagues.

The thought processor churns on!

Posted in Opinions and Thoughts

Money Changes Everything . . . Or Does It?

Posted on by M Garcia

My head is about to explode right now. Some people really have a lot of nerve. And it seems that the more money people have, the more cajones they have. As if their money entitles them to something.

In my little world, money doesn’t entitle anyone to anything. Money doesn’t get you whatever you want. If a person has money, I’m not going to treat him or her any different than the way I would treat someone in the same situation but with less money. Sure, money can buy you things, if those things are for sale. I am not for sale. If you can’t show me the common courtesy that I would show you, then your money simply makes you a rich rude bastard.

I’m sure there are nice rich people out there. But when a rich person uses his money as leverage by threatening to take it away, I object to that. If you don’t like how an organization is handling your donation, then stop donating. Donating money doesn’t give you total control over how an organization handles your money. If you want total control, then don’t give your money away.

I’m annoyed when someone with money decides that his time is more valuable than mine, simply because he has money that he can give and take away.  It bothers me when someone with money thinks that I must stop whatever I’m doing to accommodate him, simply because he has money that he can give and take away. I’m irked by the veiled threats to take the money away. Don’t threaten me. Just take the money away and go about your business.

Unfortunately, in this world, there are people who do value people with money. Some of them value people with money because they want the rich people to give money to their cause. Some of them value people with money because they like how they’re treated when they hang out with someone who can buy service. Some of them value people with money because they believe that if they hang out with rich people, they will become rich, too.

It’s interesting that this incident happened just as I was reading a post on values. And I have to ask myself the question that I’ve been asking myself for the last 9 years but have never really taken the time to answer – do my values align with my organization’s values? Would I be better off spending more time finding an organization whose values align with mine? Could I find an organization whose values align with mine? Or should I start spending more time figuring out how to be self-employed?

The thought processor churns on . . .